Why You've Got To Check Out Today's Episode:
Tweetable Takeaways from this Episode:
“Our delicate egos hate to admit when we don't know something. But the reality is that when you can say that you don't know something you actually build more trust than when you try and fake it."
Kathi Burns 0:04
Hi there, I'm board certified professional organizer Kathi Burns. I'm really glad you're here. This podcast is designed for busy entrepreneurs just like you who want to take better control of your business and move forward with less stress and more success. If this is your first time listening, then thanks for coming. The Organized Energized podcast is produced for your enjoyment and show notes are found at ThePodcast@OrganizedandEnergized.com. Come back often and feel free to add this podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. You can also follow me on Twitter at organized energy and Facebook. All links are in the show notes. Now let's get into the show. Hi, everyone, this is Kathi with organizing energize we are back and I'm very excited today because I'm speaking with Marjorie Saulson. She's named both top speaking coach of the year and top motivational speaker of the decade. She's a communication confidence coach, and she's still going strong at 81 and is going to be the top most babe at 100 you have ever met. So I want to interview Marjorie, because public speaking is the number one item on most people's lists of what most people fear. And I know today that Marjorie is going to give us some golden tips that we can walk away with to be a better speaker with more confidence and more ease. So hi, Marjorie, how are you?
Marjorie Saulson 1:25
Yes. I'm the basis of everything.
Kathi Burns 1:31
Yeah, we all have to do it. So the question is, how do we do it best? Right? And you are going to tell us that?
Marjorie Saulson 1:40
Well, first of all, I'd like to define what I call public speaking. Because people think public speaking they think giving a speech. And I define it is anytime you talk to somebody other than yourself. I actually have worked with people who have no problem getting up in front of an audience of any size. Pick up the phone, you want me to pick up the phone and call somebody? Are you crazy? Go to a networking event. Talk to all those strangers? I can't do that. It's anytime you talk to somebody other than yourself. Think about it?
Kathi Burns 2:15
Yeah, yeah, I have a brother. He just won't pick up the phone. So but he's been he's led a company and did a lot of public speaking. So isn't it funny how we have different ideas around what is public speaking and what's not? I think it's a really good point that you made about that? For sure. So tell me a little bit about yourself. Like how did you get into becoming, the public speaking coach of coaches?
Marjorie Saulson 2:39
Well, it's very interesting. My first business coach Pamela Bruner says something I've never forgotten. Your mess is your message. And what was mess shy introvert, shy introvert? Somebody? So I can't do that. I'm a shy introvert. I said, I get it. I get it. Been there done that. And the reality is, is that the only way you can build anything or communicate is to communicate and, you know, the cliche, Kathi these days is that people want to do business with people they know like and trust. That's a cliche, because it's true. And how do you build that? By communicating? And if you don't communicate, you remain the best kept secret. And I truly believe each of us has a gift to share. And I will not accept this excuse. Well, you know, there are so many other people who do what I do. I don't need to do it. But there are some people who can only hear it in your voice. Yeah, I mean, we've all looked for people to help us with something and we pass on this one and pass on that one. And we finally find the one with whom we resonate. So each person needs to share his or her gifts. And how do you do that you communicate them?
Kathi Burns 3:58
I absolutely love that. And boy, it's been a theme. Just a theme that just keeps running through my podcast is everybody has your own gift. How are you going to express your gift and what is the gift you have to express? And I agree if you can't see it succinctly, it's a little bit more difficult to get people on your side, helping you with your business. So, okay, a lot of people get really nervous before they speak. What are the two things that you advise people to do prior to speaking if the nerves have got them going on? What should they do?
Marjorie Saulson 4:31
Okay, first of all, the basis of confidence is confidence in your message, knowing that you have something worthwhile to share, knowing that there are people out there who desperately need what you have to offer. If you're going to get up there, you know, shit, fake it till you make it. That is not a recipe for confidence. Yeah, the other thing to remember, and it's something that Mark Twain said I love his quotes. And most people don't realize that he made his living the latter part of his life giving speeches because he lost all of his book money in some kind of boondoggle. And this is what he said, "There are two types of speakers, those who are nervous, and those who are liars." And the reality is, is that most people get nervous before they speak. So number one, don't beat yourself up for it. Number two, you feel those nerves in your body. It's your brain that interprets them as fear. Fear and excitement are two sides of the exact same coin. Think of it as excitement, oh, you have this opportunity to share what your messages and use that excitement to infuse your message with energy. We have all sat through talks of somebody who gets there and they have absolutely no energy or a lower level. Let me out of here. When is this person ever going to finish? I get it's so boring, you know. So use that energy. And understand that is perfectly natural number one, and the more faith you have in your message, and the more you practice it ahead of time, by the way, which reminds me of an old joke. A guy goes up to a policeman in New York City and asks, How do you get to Carnegie Hall? And the policeman answers, practice, practice, practice.
Kathi Burns 6:34
I love it.
Marjorie Saulson 6:34
If you want to feel confident in your message number one, know that it's valuable. And number two, practice it when you're walking around the house when you're driving. If you're driving someplace, say it out loud. Get it in your voice. And say it so many times that it just kind of comes out.
Kathi Burns 6:51
Marjorie Saulson 6:53
And don't try and memorize it exactly. You will sound like a robocall.
Kathi Burns 6:58
Yeah. It doesn't work anyhow, like I couldn't remember I couldn't, before I go on stage, I'm always asked that whatever I say whatever comes out of my mouth, is what someone wants to hear, you know, someone needs to hear from me. So even though I'll do the same presentation over and over, it's never the same. And I think I think that's the whole ticket, right there is, know your message, but have the ability to feel the audience and know what they might need to hear and then give it to them.
Marjorie Saulson 7:30
Yes. And I will share one other tip from my very first speaking coach. She said, You know, she was very much against memorizing things. Because if you forget your place, then you know, you're the deer in the headlights. But she said there are two things you should memorize your opening sentence and your closing sentence. So you have the security of knowing exactly how you're going to start. And you you know you carefully crafted to immediately get the audience's attention. And exactly how you're going to have this bravura finish that go send everybody off exciting, excited about what you shared and willing to take the single action that you ask them to take whatever that is.
Kathi Burns 8:14
I love that love, love, love, love. Okay, so this leads me to another question that so you're in a networking event or you're on you get off stage and someone asks you question, you have no idea what the answer is. How do you handle something like that and come off with ease and confidence?
Marjorie Saulson 8:30
You know, that's not my area of expertise. I must confess, I have no clue.
Kathi Burns 8:36
There you go. There's your answer right there.
Marjorie Saulson 8:39
Yeah. I mean, now, now, the other situation. And the first, I actually came up with a whole system because there was a guy who I worked with who was in corporate. And he told me he would sit through these corporate meetings in utter dread, that he be asked a question he couldn't answer. And that, you know, effect is, you know, possibility for raise advancement. So I did come up with a system for that situation. And I call it aced. ACD. Like I aced the test. A the minute I said you think oh, gosh, I've heard people do this a million times. Acknowledge? That's a very interesting question. That's a very good question. How many times have you heard you're buying time to hopefully travel, you know, get a gift from your subconscious? The answer, the C is for clarify, because the reality is you cannot give a good answer to a bad question. And some questions are so vague and so broad. That how could you answer it with the Encyclopedia Britannica, though? Sorry. So you say you know, I'm really not sure. What specifically you're asking about. Could you give me an example of what you're asking about? And then if you add the E is for ellicit, meaning to draw forth that I ll I see it meaning illegal. They're both pronounced the same. But yeah, brought forth if you're in a group, you are you talking to somebody? Have you given some thought about this question? Or is there anybody else here that the answer isn't popping into my head right away? Is there anybody else who could answer this question, Mark? And then the D is for deliver or delay, deliver, you get this wonderful answer your subconscious, your unconscious comes to your rescue, and you channel this wonderful answer. And and you give it or you delay, if it's, listen, if it's something that you really are responsible for, you know, answering, let me get back to you. I need to research it. And I promise to get back to you with the answer and then do it.
Kathi Burns 10:53
Yeah, I think that's the biggest sign of professionalism is to say that you don't know or say no.
Marjorie Saulson 11:00
I have to tell you, our delicate egos hate to admit when we don't know something. But the reality is that, and it's counter intuitive, but when you can say that you don't know something you actually build more trust than when you try and fake it. Excuse me? Why grab a drink of water?
Kathi Burns 11:22
Yeah, people know, when you're faking, faking it. They know even if you think you pulled it off beautifully. Yeah.
Marjorie Saulson 11:30
One of my coaches says everybody's BS meter is always on in those kinds of situations. The reality is, is that you do actually build more trust, because people know when you answer a question, that is the truth and the answer, as you will know it, and you're not trying to fake it. So they know they can trust your word. And that's a whole other ballgame.
Kathi Burns 11:53
Yes, yes, truly. So someone's at a networking event. Now we're getting ready to maybe go back into networking. And so I think this is a timely topic, whether we choose to or not, or stay on Zoom. But should you choose that you're going to go into a networking situation into fill up with a room, and you are not confident at all, do you have any tips to help people navigate the and hey, you know what, a lot of us are not used to be an in person anyhow. So even if we were good at networking before, maybe we've lost our mojo. So what are the tips as you're walking into an event to get your mojo back and feel confident in networking?
Marjorie Saulson 12:30
First of all, we all hate that somebody comes up and starts talking at us about their wonderful business or opportunity. No way. Be curious, go up, go up to somebody who's standing by themselves feeling really uncomfortable and say hi, and introduce yourself and say, so it's, it's nice. Have you been at this event before? Isn't it nice to be back again? Tell me what so what do you do? And ask that person and what what what attracted you to that? What do you like about doing that? Ask the other person and what kind of people do you serve? Maybe I know somebody who might be able to use your services. Other words, come you know, it's one of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits is first seek to understand then to be understood. That is a very, very good way to start. And you are making the other person feel comfortable. So now when now when they ask you what you do, you do not go into your robocall memorized elevator pitch. Please don't do that. I like to start out with a question of what I call a pain question. Do use some you know how sometimes you might miss opportunities because you're not sure what to say? Or how to say it or you're afraid to say it? That's the pain people have that I help them with figuring out what to say how to say without boring people to death. Engaging their attention and getting over the fear of saying it so if you can figure out a pain question of something, of a problem that you solve. And if you don't want to be so direct say you you ever have the you know everybody's had the experience where there's nobody who has hasn't you know, kept themselves quiet when they should. But yeah, do you you know, look at what you do. I mean, what's the pain yourself? You help people you ever feel like your whole office your whole life and your whole office is disorganized and you can't find something and where in the heck did I leave my whatever? Me I mean, you got it the problem you solve everybody has to.
Kathi Burns 14:44
Yeah, yeah, I'm blessed like that. I love that because I find myself I love public speaking I love doing podcasting. I love doing interpersonal with my clients one on one but whenever I get into a group, or just sitting in the grocery line, I'm shy again. And I think I'll definitely use the be curious be open and that solves. I have friends who that all their best friends are the ones that they met in the grocery line. It's like seriously? How do you know all those about people? So the curiosity thing I think is a wonderful, wonderful tip. I'm going to walk away using it for sure, Marjorie, it's just a reminder. And the ACE thing is great, I think we'll put the ACE thing down below. Because that that'll be a nice little reminder for me.
Marjorie Saulson 15:31
It's Acknowledge, Clarify, Elicit with the E and deliver or delay.
Kathi Burns 15:38
Love it. Love it. So as we wind in down into this, gosh, you just have so much I could talk to you forever. But what's the one thing that you think that I should have asked you about what you do that I did not?
Marjorie Saulson 15:54
Why it's so important for people to communicate?
Kathi Burns 15:59
Okay, why is it so important that people should speak?
Marjorie Saulson 16:03
Well, this is actually part of my mission. In my tradition, which is the Jewish tradition, it teaches we are God's partners in the repair of the world. And we're not obligated to do the whole world, but we are obligated to do our piece of it. And the only way we can do our piece of it, is when we can communicate and help those people whom we are really obligated to serve and help.
Kathi Burns 16:31
Hmm, I love that. Yeah. And if you don't say what you do, or what or you don't express who you are, people can't call upon you for what you might be able to offer.
Marjorie Saulson 16:41
Yes, and there are people who out there who desperately need what each of us has to offer.
Kathi Burns 16:48
Isn't that the beauty of it? That that's like the beauty of of life is that we all have our own gifts. And gee, this is so timely, Marjorie. Because if you can, everybody's doing the mass exodus, and they're trying to find their way. And they want to become entrepreneurs. And that's what this podcast is all about as giving tips to those. But if you can communicate what your gift is, and start telling everybody what your gift is, you'll end up having rallying support around you. I remember when I came home and said to my husband, hey, I'm going to be a professional organizer, an image consultant, and I put it out there, right, I spoke the words, and he's like, what's that? But allow me to clarify what it really was and what it meant to me and what I was meant to do. So speak your message, speak your truth, speak. I think the biggest thing is, what's your biggest desire? What do you really love to do? Because I think what you love to do is probably what everybody else needs from you or what other people will need.
Marjorie Saulson 17:51
And I would I would make one edit. Don't tell, share.
Kathi Burns 17:58
Ah, thank you. Yes, yes. Yes. Share your message. Share your share your idea. Okay, thank you. See, I need an editor like you in my life.
Marjorie Saulson 18:10
Yeah, that's, that's one of my gifts. I am actually a former magazine editor in my life. And I do have a gift for everybody. Yes, let's hear about it. Okay, it is called Five speaking landmines, and how to avoid them. And did you want to share the link in the chat?
Kathi Burns 18:32
The link, the link is going to be down below on the podcast page itself. So you'll be able to the link and get to it easy, breezy. It'll be on the page, as well as a few snippets and giveaways of things that we've said that I think are good, like the ACE thing.
Marjorie Saulson 18:48
Yeah. Well, and it's a vibrant vocal power that calm which is my website, forward slash K. B, as in Kathi Burns. So when you when you go to get that gift, I will know Oh, Kathi sent this person. Thank you, Kathi.
Kathi Burns 19:07
You're so welcome, Marjorie. I didn't really appreciate your time being on the podcast and your time, given the golden nuggets and anybody who is has a fear of speaking please, please go to Marjorie. She's the pro in the business. And she can help you on your way, even if it's just how to walk into a networking group, right?
Marjorie Saulson 19:25
Absolutely. Absolutely. Just remember, you can't see anybody's else's butterflies, but they can't see yours either.
Kathi Burns 19:34
True that. Thank you, Marjorie, you have a fabulous holiday season.
Marjorie Saulson 19:39
Thank you, same to you. I really appreciate the invitation.
Kathi Burns 19:48
Hey, thanks for listening to this podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode. And if you want to hear more, feel free to subscribe on the platform of your choice. Also, if you feel so inclined, I would truly appreciate a good rating from you to me have a stellar day.