Why You've Got To Check Out Today's Episode:
Tweetable Takeaways from this Episode:
“The reason why you're feeling impostor syndrome is because something is new and you're not doing it on autopilot. It's not comfortable, and it won't always feel like that. The more you do it, it won't feel so difficult and so hard."
Kathi Burns 0:04
Hi there, I'm board certified professional organizer Kathi Burns. I'm really glad you're here. This podcast is designed for busy entrepreneurs just like you who want to take better control of your business and move forward with less stress and more success. If this is your first time listening then thanks for coming. The Organized Energized podcast is produced for your enjoyment and show notes are found at ThePodcast@OrganizedandEnergized.com. Come back often and feel free to add this podcast to your favorite RSS feed or iTunes. You can also follow me on Twitter at organized energy and Facebook. All links are in the show notes. Now let's get into the show. Hi, everyone, I'm with Ruth Gilbey today. Ruth specializes in helping freelancers and business owners adjust their mindset. And they're marketing so they can get fully booked with clients and love to work with. Today we're going to talk about the impostor syndrome and how to grow in confidence within your business. So welcome to the show.
Ruth Gilbey 1:07
Thank you so much for having me, Kathi. It's great to be here.
Kathi Burns 1:11
Absolutely. So tell me about your journey. From when you started Ruth to where you are now, how did it all happen? Tell us a behind this story, Ruth.
Ruth Gilbey 1:24
Okay, I'll give you a potted history, Kathi, so it's not like just about that for your listeners. Well, I went freelance, I guess in 2011. After working in like business operations, I was a bit of a high flyer high achiever, gave it all up to have twins. Then I can't go back into the corporate world after this. So had my boys took some extended maternity leave and started thinking what can I do. And I got the digital marketing Bookbug and started doing freelancing in digital marketing. That's what I did sort of happily for quite a few years. But I was really that feast and famine Freelancer just saying yes to everything. Even though I was a marketer, I had no website, no online presence, no strategy, nothing for lead generation. I was just like kind of word of mouth referrals and wondering why these contracts weren't 100% lighting me up. And then I was then I just got this kind of light bulb moment, I started to have this light bulb moment that I am not doing my best work for my own business. I'm doing it for all my clients. But when I had that light bulb moment, another thing kind of came along, where I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017. So five years ago, diagnosed with breast cancer, I was just I felt like I was just at this point. Or maybe I was kidding myself. I was at this point where I was about to make a shift and along came breast cancer. I thought, oh my goodness, that's it. You know, I'm never going to have the business I want. This is this curveballs been thrown at me, there's no way I can juggle a business. So I really slow down everything. My clients were wonderful. And I started to kind of like outsource things to people and stepped away so I could have my treatment. And it was I just got so much clarity from slowing down and thinking it was just like the reverse happened. I started to go hang on, you've been so busy in your business just in it trying to wear all the hats trying to do everything. I was pretty burnt out that I hadn't stepped away and I just I never outsourced anything before that. It was actually after having breast cancer that was like, okay, I've seen that there's another way you know, I can have a successful business. I don't have to do it all myself. So I said come on Ruth, you've got a chance here, start playing bigger in business, start taking yourself seriously, and start doing your best work for your own business because I was making a lot of other people successful and rich. And I just thought I was the person that for a long time. I thought I was the person I was supposed to do that for people. I didn't think it was possible for me. And I thought you know, come on, you can do this. And I haven't really looked back since I just I didn't go back to that old way of working. I changed my business completely.
Kathi Burns 4:42
I think it's so funny. There's a couple things that you said like number one, I think nature throws a punch we need we need it. And you were on the wheel right? You were on the wheel like that it ended up doing everything for everybody and the nature is like wait a minute, stop slam on the brakes. It's time for you to do something for yourself. And then even know a cancer diagnosis is really scary. It really helps you evaluate doesn't it like where, where you are and what you can get rid of where you can outsource, like you said. So I think that happens quite a lot. And that was really probably a god gift in a way for you that you were able to take a step back and have the time to heal and have the time to help yourself, get that clarity and have your time to help yourself become this successful marketer that you let everybody else become right or that you helped everybody else.
Ruth Gilbey 5:40
Absolutely, it was. Yeah, it was it was really interesting. I really, anyone listening to this if you can, if you can have that wake up call without something like that happening to you that's what I would say to you. There's been a niggling feeling and niggling voice saying, this isn't really what I really want to do. This isn't lighting, this isn't lighting me up. If you're feeling like that, listen to that voice. You can do it without, I worked less than I did before. Now I do what I love doing. I'm much more successful than I was before the incomes better. And yes, and I'm making more impact and working with the people that I really want to help.
Kathi Burns 6:25
I absolutely love that story. I think it does take pivotal moments for us to have that wake up call. If we can wish all of you out there listening that you don't have something so dramatic and drastic happened in your life. But take a step back. If you're feeling overwhelmed and overworked and underpaid, take a step back and see if you're in your business as opposed to on your business. Right if you're working on it, as opposed to be in meddling up in the in the init part of it. You step back, you made some systems you outsourced, and then let's talk about one of your clients. Tell me a client story of who you were able to help better and more efficiently after the shift happened.
Ruth Gilbey 7:09
After the shift happened, I really got this who I worked with change, I actually did a coaching diploma. After I finished my cancer treatment, I was like, this is what I want to do and I did the coaching diploma. Then I just had this real, it was a calling that I wanted to work with other women that I had felt for such a long time that I hadn't been tapping into that, my own purpose and potential that I really wanted to help women do that. And what I was finding was that if I was starting to work with women on their strategy or their marketing, because that was my background, my background was business, business coaching and marketing. When I started to work with them and those things, I realized that I couldn't serve them properly without understanding coaching as well. Because it was the blocks, they didn't need to learn another strategy. They needed to believe in themselves. Yeah, exactly. They needed to work through the steps like I had they needed and I needed to hold space for them. I needed to ask them the right questions. So I was like, Ah, okay, I don't need to learn every strategy. I need to be meet them where they are, I need to help them. So that's why I did the coaching diploma. And yeah, absolutely.
Kathi Burns 8:34
Then you talk a lot about impostor syndrome and getting over that impostor syndrome, what can you talk about that? I mean, we all have different ideas of what that means. But how do you help your clients overcome that aspect? Because we all go through it. I think every single one of us has impostor syndrome at some time during our career as entrepreneurs, always.
Ruth Gilbey 8:56
Apparently 85% of people suffer from impostor syndrome. Some of the top you know, Meryl Streep talks about having impostor syndrome, lots of female, big female celebrities. So, what I want to say is, what's really interesting is I think that if we can reframe it somehow, I for a long time, I didn't ever suffer from impostor syndrome and I was quite smug. I'm not suffering from impostor syndrome. But that's because I was in the comfort zone. And there's a quote, I don't know if you've heard this quote that says, if you're not feeling impostor syndrome, you're in the wrong room. So I think that's a really good reframe that number one, it's human. It's natural. It's actually a sign. It's a clue. Be curious about it. What's going on, what is it showing you and you won't stay in that feeling of imposter syndrome forever. The reason why you're feeling impostor syndrome is because something is new and you're not doing it on autopilot. It's not comfortable, and it won't always feel like that. The more you do it, it won't feel so difficult and so hard.
I love that. I love that that gives us all permission to feel that way from time to time. Yeah, that's huge. If you're not feeling it, you're not growing.
Right? Yeah, absolutely. And be compassionate with yourself like that be compassionate. When it don't, don't add to it by going, Why am I feeling like this? Try. And I know, it's really easy to say that as a coach, because you sit here and say these things, because I've done the training, and I've been coached, it's so easy for me to see that. But your thoughts do not define you, if you can some find some sort of separation from them. And that's why journaling is so powerful. And coaching is so powerful as well to actually step back and write down. Why am I feeling this? What is it showing me? What is it telling me what's going on here?
Kathi Burns 10:58
I always think all the time about the objective observer. And if you can be the objective observer and watch. As coaches, we do that we can do that in a heartbeat. I think that why journaling really works is because if you journal in a way that you are observing your life, you're like, oh, wasn't that interesting? And isn't that interesting that way I thought about this, and I thought about it this way. And then you read back, and then you are the observer. And you have much more objectivity on where you're really at than just being in your head playing that little loop all the time.
Ruth Gilbey 11:30
Absolutely. Absolutely. I think I've got some more tips as well for overcoming impostor syndrome.
Kathi Burns 11:39
Let's hear them.
Ruth Gilbey 11:40
I think the other thing is, is that I think we put so much pressure on ourselves to know everything. We learn, we can buy, and we consume things. I think it's allowing yourself to say, I don't know that yet. I know this. This is what I know well and I don't know that yet. It's okay to say that to kind of like take the pressure off and say that you don't know it all. I think that's really powerful. Again, it's like letting go of the pressure on yourself. I remember, I used to feel like I had to know everything. Why? Why do I have to know everything.
Kathi Burns 12:17
It's not even realistic, anyhow. I mean, a big burden on our shoulder, we've got to know at all, right?
Ruth Gilbey 12:25
I think a lot of women do that, though, don't they? They put this pressure on themselves to be, I can't do that until I've done X. Or I couldn't possibly talk about that when everybody has life experiences and something to share and tell.
Kathi Burns 12:43
It reminds me of something someone told me a long time ago that you are an expert in a lot of things being an expert means you know, a little bit more about that subject and the person standing next to you. So therefore, everyone is an expert in something and multiple things. We're all experts in multiple things. To feel that we're not because oh, well, someone else knows so much more about it doesn't matter, you look at the person beside you that you would be helping and if you know how to give them that step up, then you are an expert for what you're talking them about.
Ruth Gilbey 13:17
It's really interesting that you brought that up, because I think that was one of the key things when I launched my business that helped me get out of my own head. Because of course, there are loads of business coaches out there are loads of life coaches out there, why would someone want to work with me? I could get stuck in this loop and tell myself that and it was, the big thing that I focused on was, it's not about me, it's who I can help. I really focused in on that, rather than thinking about how am I going to look when I post this on Instagram, or when I do this live? Or I do this thing, it was like, how is this useful to the person that my ideal client. I think we all do this with when we first launch a business or even now we think about our friends or thinking or family or thinking or peers or thinking if we can try and go they're not our ideal clients and just homed in on who you're trying to help and serve. That really helps.
Kathi Burns 14:14
That helps a lot to definitely drill down into the client that you want to help, who do you resonate with? I think when we talk about marketing all the time, I was like, Okay, you're your own avatar, like I've always thought that I am my avatar, that people who I can help are people that are like me, because we're gonna resonate, right? You don't want to have a market that's completely not even someone who you are because how are you going to have the proper discourse or know how they're going to phrase things or think about things in the same way. So that's a takeaway I took away a long time ago. Well, okay, so you said you have another another tip for this overcoming impostor syndrome.
Ruth Gilbey 14:55
Yeah, so number one was know it's natural. Number two was be honest about what you do and don't know. Number three was focus on who you can help. The fourth one, the final one that I've got for you is the big one. Is that everything I say this about everything, one of the biggest learnings, but I remember hearing this let go of the outcome. I mean, that's such a powerful thing to think, yeah, it's great if you can let go of the outcome. If you can say, Oh, well, what did I take from that? I mean in my work with my clients who I'm working with, we do goal setting, we talk about goal setting, but I say it's about you know, the journey, sometimes you're striving for something, you get the data, you get the information, even if you didn't hit the goal isn't just about that. So if you can let go of the outcome, and actually go, I'm striving for that. And then I've got more information at the end of it. That's really powerful. Take off. Yeah,
Kathi Burns 16:01
Yeah, let go the outcome. I like that. It's more about being present to so being like, in it the day as deep as you can go that day towards where you're heading, and you're being there then, as opposed to looking at all, what's it going to look like at the end? I think by by future casting, you can't really be your best self anyhow. Because you're always like in your head five steps forward, as opposed to being very present with who it is you're working with, or what it is you're working on. That's fantastic advice. Yeah, I think we're going to try to put those four little tips underneath the podcasts, we'll see if that happens. So listen, that girls. What is the one lesson that your business has taught you that you think other people would benefit from? We've already talked about a few things, but you have anything additional that you would say that your business has taught you the hard way?
Ruth Gilbey 16:52
I think there's so many, but I'm trying to think I mean, sorry, could you repeat the question again, Kathi?
Kathi Burns 17:03
What's one lesson your business has taught you that you think everybody should know? And you already said, one, stop and outsource for sure, step back, get clarity and get rid of some stuff. What would be another lesson that that your business has taught you personally,
Ruth Gilbey 17:20
I think it follows on from outsourcing, really, that when you do make that jump to outsourcing and working with other people, I've got a team of contractors that I work and they really, what I observed benefit of working with them was they held me ,they keep you accountable, because we've all got our part to play, haven't we, in you know, in our businesses. We record our podcasts, they go to someone else, someone does that thing for you, you know, distributors, etc. So the accountability from your team is amazing. But I think that the other thing is, is that when you take on contractors don't create a role for yourself where you become the delegator because that just fills your time. So you get that right hand to help you stay organized, and help you organize your contractors as well, like that online business manager, that integrator they are a key hire in your business in a key way to really keeping your business organized. Otherwise, you create a job just delegating. I think you could just do that, couldn't you? You know, we so easily could happen, and have those systems and processes as well.
Kathi Burns 18:36
Yeah, the systems and processes and I totally agree. And that's something that I think a lot of people don't understand Ruth, and that's smart for you to bring up is that you don't want to be the delegator. You want to empower the people to support you. You want to let them figure out how they can best help you and create the systems for that. And guess what, it's a win win for everybody. Because then they can move that skill on to somebody else as well. Like I have a new person that I'm training that is learning everything is like okay, what can you do for me, you show me what you think you want to do, and what you can do and let's make it happen, right? It's so much more empowering to think about your subcontractors and your contractors that way, I think it's very beneficial for all parties concerned. Definitely.
Ruth Gilbey 19:23
I think it's so true, Kathi, and it's also about finding the right fit. I think you need if you are lean, it's still very lean, small team, and I need people to be self starters, I need them to take ownership. I need them to know we have a kind of routine. The other thing is I try and lifeproof my business as well. Pandemic, homeschooling, if that's taught us anything, I'm always like, a little bit ahead, batching being ahead. My son got COVID a few weeks ago, and I luckily, I could flex some things in my business because I've made room for it. So make room for life.
Kathi Burns 20:07
Yeah, make room for life. And yeah, don't pack it in. Okay, so let's talk about organizing hat. What hat do you use to stay organized? Do you have a favorite tool, or anything that you use organizationally wise?
Ruth Gilbey 20:20
Is clickup is actually one that I use? Do you use that?
Kathi Burns 20:24
No,I don't use click up. Let's talk about it.
Ruth Gilbey 20:27
Yeah, so I tried a lot of different ones. I tried Trello and they're all great. And I mean, they're only a tool, you have to use the tool. But there's something about it. My, my online business manager says, It's like asana and Trello had a baby. That's what clickup is, but I like it because you can you can use it like Trello you can use it like Asana you can I use it as my CRM as well. We use Zapier and link things to it, and it creates things in there. I mean, it's, it's huge what it can do for your business. And it's really it starts, you know, you can start using it for free, which is amazing. But what I like about it is it's, you can chat to each other within it. So it's good for that. It's good for attaching tasks, and man, it's just really good for contractors team, remote teams. It's brilliant.
Kathi Burns 21:23
Yeah, that's really good. Yeah, there's so many tools out there. I personally do love Trello and we're workflow. Yeah I dabbled with clickup. There's so many things out there and see it. The idea is, what I would tell anybody listening is dabble in all of them. Almost all of them have free trials and see which one resonates with you. Because some people are very visual. Some people like my new list if they can expand in not expanding, like in workflowy. So it's all different. But yeah, to do the free trials, and yeah, I know, I've heard that about Asana that it's if they had a baby, it's click up. I think that's hilarious. But that that's a good tip.
Ruth Gilbey 22:03
Yeah, the best tool is the one you use.
Kathi Burns 22:07
One that works. That's like, that's like your second arm. If you're in there, and you're feeling like, oh, my gosh, I totally get this one. That's the one you should use no matter what anybody else does. Anybody else is gonna say, No, I use Asana. No, I use workflow. Whatever, it doesn't matter. Just use the one that you can actually use and like to use, because it ends up being a huge, huge part of your company, once you get the system going.
Ruth Gilbey 22:35
It does. And I think don't spend your time just changing tools as well. Because you're just always going to be in that setup phase, get using it get move on.
Kathi Burns 22:46
I'm pretty sure. Okay, so I know you have a valuable free resource that you're going to offer the listeners here. Let's talk about that a little bit. What do you have?
Ruth Gilbey 22:55
So it's really popular, I mean, I've created a lot of, you know, downloads and freebies for people before, but the one that's really flying at the moment is called the secret base rate calculator. And it's kind of it's like a money mindset tool. It's boosting you to charge your worth charge the right amount of money, but it also arms you with the information. It's like you fill it out, put your information in, and you actually design the rate that you want, how many and how much you want to work as well. It incorporates all that. So it's called. Yeah, the secret base rate calculator.
Kathi Burns 23:36
So they download it, and then they just put in their dreams and aspirations and the numbers that they want to reach and it helps them figure all that out?
Ruth Gilbey 23:44
Yeah. I think it sums me up. I'm like a combination of like, mindset, practicality, as well. So it's got all of it for us, it helps you because I'm all about you being really in alignment with what you charge. I really believe that you shouldn't ask other people what you should charge, you should be the one that's equipped, you should look at the benchmarks and everything. But you should, it's all about you believing in your in the right that you want to put out there because I could go off on about this. But I just think we could adopt other people's beliefs about what we should charge when, if this is about arming you so you're confident.
Kathi Burns 24:25
If it doesn't resonate with you, no matter what what number you're saying, it's not going to work. They're going to know it's not resonant and they're not going to be the buyers. They're going to be it's too high. It's too low. I don't understand, does she not have self worth or Who does she think she is? It doesn't matter because if you just stay here, you just stay at your price. And you know, that's what it should be. There you are. So this is a really, really valuable tool. They really appreciate that. Make sure that you guys all download that because I think that's going to be really, really helpful for you as you move forward and again, it's kind of funny that you have that tool because it does also address the imposter syndrome.
Ruth Gilbey 25:08
Absolutely, yeah, it does, doesn't it? It's a big thing you know, what, what should I charge? I think the other thing that I would say about getting that right as well is that it you know, your your, your prices or your branding, they're part of your brand and who you are. You don't want to be or the the Walmart for your American listeners or the Primark UK audience, you know, you want to you want to attract the right people, you want it to feel right, but you want to get the right people into your world.
Kathi Burns 25:41
Yeah, absolutely. So it's called Primark in London and UK.
Ruth Gilbey 25:44
Well actually started as completed, because I think Walmart is more like Asda in the UK.
Kathi Burns 25:51
Yeah, that's funny. we all we all have one, right? That's the big box, the big box place. Okay. So is there something that I should have asked you? What's the one question I should have asked you, that we have not covered here in this chit chat?
Ruth Gilbey 26:09
What's the one question? I
Kathi Burns 26:17
Or anything that you really just want to talk about, that we haven't discussed?
Ruth Gilbey 26:23
Yeah, I think the last thing that I would just say to everybody is that, don't I think when I was launching my business, I was so terrified of making that first step. I think I just go back to reiterating what I said earlier, which is you're not supposed to know it all. You're not supposed to do it all as well. And I think we don't make that first step. We say we stay stuck. Because we stay in the Learning Zone. I think we stay in the learning and the research. So and I think a lot of women can end up doing that learning and researching and I would say, learn, implement, learn, implement, you know, implement it into your business, take, take some messy action and take action and learn by putting things out there.
Kathi Burns 27:10
I love it. Take some messy action, just take action.
Ruth Gilbey 27:14
Doesn't have to be messy. Take action.
Kathi Burns 27:16
I love that. I mean, it will be messy. I mean, when we first started anything new, it's always a little bit not quite perfect. And that's the way it's supposed to be. And what I took from what you said about that is, if you do learn, learn, learn and then implement. Finally, maybe you've learned things that people don't even care, if you learn a little implement, then they're like, oh, I want to do this. When you need to learn next in order to help your client. So don't get stuck in the Learning Zone. Like women, it's time to just move forward and take some action. You're my kind of girls like action takers. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Well, I really appreciate your time. And I love the valuable free resource. I think that among then download it and check it out. And also we'll put we'll put links on to some of the topics, some of the products that we talked about, so you guys can check them out. But meanwhile, have yourself a fantastic night it would be for you. Thanks for seeing me at night in UK and it's a pleasure. Thank you so much.
Ruth Gilbey 28:22
Thank you so much for having me Kathi.
Kathi Burns 28:32
Hey, thanks for listening to this podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode. And if you want to hear more, feel free to subscribe on the platform of your choice. Also, if you feel so inclined, I would truly appreciate a good rating from you, to me have a stellar day.