Why You've Got To Check Out Today's Episode:
Kathi Burns: [00:00:00] Hi there. I'm board certified professional organizer Kathi Burns. I'm really glad you're here. This podcast is designed for busy entrepreneurs just like you, who wanna take better control of your business and move forward with less stress and more success. If this is your first time listening, then thanks for coming.
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Hi everyone. What a fantastic week we're having. Today I'm talking with Carol Metz, and we're going to talk about how to declutter your inside world to create a really organized outside world. Isn't that cool? Anyhow, Carol Metz has had 30 years of leadership, business and change management experience. She's a mindset growth strategist, and I love this company. She's the CEO of Naked Leadership. She's an intuitive, observant, mentor, speaker, and trusted advisor, and she shares the principles, tools, and systems she learned on her leadership journey through doubt, fear, overwhelming stress, right before she launched a Naked Leadership Institute. So she's been there, done that, and she's going to use her intuition to guide us through an amazing interview. And you're going to love it because Carol speaks directly from her heart as she declutters and walks the path with her client's family and the world. She's phenomenal, mesmerizing, communicator. You'll fill this out and one of those rare individuals that actually walks her talk. So we're going to talk to Carol. I can't wait for you to meet her. You're going to love it. I'll see you guys in a minute.
Hi everyone, this is Kathi, and as I said, we're back with Carol Metz. You're going love this interview because we're going talk about how to clear the clutter from the outside in, from the inside out, and I'm going talk about, of course, always how to clear the clutter from the outside in. So Carol is an amazing person. I'd like to introduce you, so welcome to the show, Carol.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:02:18]Thankyou so much Kathi for having me here with you. I'm excited to spend some time with you because I've met you and you are an incredible woman. So yay to all the listeners. I'm excited to be here with you.
Kathi Burns:[00:02:34]Oh, back at you, Carol. We're like mutual admiration society girls here. So I know about your background, but tell the audience here a little bit about your journey and why you're doing now what you're doing.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:02:50] Oh great. Thank you for that question. So my journey has been of starting out in with a really wonderful childhood, growing up on a farm, and as the years progressed, unfortunately trauma came into my life which really impacted me significantly. And as that little girl, I closed my heart and then stepped into relationships as I knew them based on, silence and abuse. And of course as one deals with traumas and things that happen in life, I developed a variety of different methods to cope in patterns. And one of them that I developed was being a workaholic. The other was that I constantly had to prove to everyone that I could do it and that I was enough and I found myself in leadership positions and very early in my life.
Kathi Burns:[0:04:02]That's interesting. That, you went from the silent person to being in leadership. So sorry, just continue on. That was interesting.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:04:11] Very interesting. When I look at my life and from there I also stepped into a failed marriage.
Kathi Burns:[00:04:23] The repeat pattern, right?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:04:25] Yes. A repeat pattern. The gift that I received out of that marriage was four beautiful children as well. Then I ended up, raising my children on my own, which certainly was a struggle. However, I was very committed to raising them and ensuring that they had a good life. So I built my career. And worked and as well, I also made a commitment to myself that I would get an education, so life was full. So talk about the workaholic, and talk about the pressures and talk about the trauma that I had not dealt with. So one day that all came to a crashing crash, a crashing crash. I hit bottom and I had burnt myself out so badly, Kathi, that I was like a ripe tomato being thrown at a wall, and I just splattered everywhere. Quite frankly, I didn't even remember my name. In the midst of all of that though, I had made a commitment to myself. I would complete my thesis for my master's program.
Kathi Burns:[00:05:43] Holy smokes. You raised four kids as a single mom and got your master's?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:05:50] Yes.
Kathi Burns:[00:05:51] And worked full-time probably?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:05:52] Yes. And worked full-time as well. And I don't know how I completed it, so obviously there was someone guiding me to help me complete it, but I did complete it. But hitting rock bottom, Kathi really made me stop. And reevaluate my life because the road I was headed down was not a very good road at all, and end result [00:06:00] was it could get worse than it already was. So I made a decision at that point that I needed to really truly discover and find out who I was. So when I look at Naked Leadership is the beginning of decluttering the inside to find out who I was. Who am I authentically? Who am I? Where are my vulnerabilities? Where's my courage? Yeah. And as well, where's my heart in all of this? And I began that whole process then of opening up who I was. And in that process, for about two years, I had a spot on my chest over my heart that hurt when I touched it. And I finally realized that was the opening of my heart because medically nobody knew what it was. It's interesting, the more I dug into me, the less that hurt. And really it was for me, the sign, again, a sign from the universe that I was on the right path discovering who I was learning that I didn't need to do at all, that I could ask for help. And that really, truly inside of me was the wonderful, authentic me. And that's been my journey ever since, and I get so excited and so passionate to help others, discover that within them.
Kathi Burns:[00:08:04] I absolutely love that story. What a brave woman. It's so funny, one of my mentors said to me last week that your body is the battleground your mind plays war on, and you know the hole in your heart and hurting right here with no apparent reason. Is just your. Your body's saying, screaming out, saying, you know that you're on the mend. And the fact that the pain would go away as you healed and healed. There you go. It's your body again, responding. The heart, mind, soul connection, heart, mind, soul, body connection is so powerful. And it is interesting. I've interviewed so many people and there's been so much trauma in this world, and the fact that you were able to stop you were made to stop and listen, which sadly, that's what happens to us, we're made to stop and listen. Okay. screeching halt, I got to pay attention now. I got to figure this stuff out because we can't keep going the way that we're going. But one thing, as I said earlier that really strikes me about your story is that you go from trauma and shutting down to leadership even before you were healed. You stepped into leadership because then you became the overachiever type of girl. So everybody's oh, she does, she knows what she's doing. She can do anything, which is true. I think the more, I don't know, sometimes trauma can be turned into a blessing as you did, because you do become strong. I know my husband's gone through trauma and he says if I had not had that, I would not be who I am today and I would not be as strong as I am today.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:09:56] And I would agree, I agree 100% is to go through that trauma and it actually can be a gift. If you look at it from that perspective, that wasn't always but as I looked at the trauma and as I worked my way through it and as I let it go, I also realized that those experiences do not define me. I walked through them and here I am. I'm a stronger person for them. I truly am who I am. It really as the gift from the traumas. And so it depends how we come through the traumas and what we're willing to let go of. And that's quite frankly, the journey of the remainder of your life. Really and truly it is. Again, and I encourage anyone and everyone listening that you can work through trauma. You can say goodbye now, I don't need you anymore. Thank you so much for being here with me, for that part of my journey. But now I'm moving on to a different journey. And there's, the universe is always with us. And as you just said before, Kathi, it was the universe who finally got my attention. Attention the really hard way, because I hadn't been listening.
Kathi Burns:[00:11:40]Just keep knocking you over the head until you're like, oh what do you, what? Oh, I should pay attention now. My body is failing, or my mind is failing, or, I feel like a tomato smashed against a wall. That's a really vivid image. And I know that a lot of people have been there and I think even if we haven't experienced huge trauma, it's all about letting go of the past anyhow. The past is only what we think of it and our life is only our reaction to it. Do we wanna be in the present moment and get over all that crap in the past and move forward as you did now? I love Naked Leadership. I love that name for your company. How did that come about for you?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:12:31] It was one day as I was letting go of experiences. It was just the word naked came through and I thought, Oh yes, that's really what's going on inside of me. I'm clearing out. I am letting go and I'm becoming naked on the inside. And just as a qualifier, Kathi, when I talk about Naked Leadership I tell the audience they keep their clothes on. This is the folk inside, not the outside.
Kathi Burns:[00:13:06] That's funny. I hadn't even gone there, but I'm sure that people are listening have. Yeah. We're strip down girls and we're going to get naked and we're going to be leaders because we can embrace our full body. It's not about that. Oh, I just. Oh, we get that. I think it was divine and my original organizing consultancy was called Add Space to Your Life. And I know that was a gift as well to me, to name my company that, because that's what I knew made me who I was I was able to add space and get some clarity, figure out what do I want to do when I grow up. And that's how I became an organizer. But the space for me was important, and I think the nakedness of you breaking down was important. So if any of you out there feel like you want a new, you want a name for your company, listen to what your intuition says because, add space to your life naked leadership, but thenit resonates and then you know what it really means. And when you know what your company means, the name means to you. I think that then you broadcast your prayer, your pure intention out to the world of what you're doing with your company. It's why I changed my company to organize and energized was during Covid because I was, I needed some more energy around my business, and that's why I shifted. I'm like, am I crazy to rebrand myself? But at the same time, it's yeah I need to get organized and energized myself. I need to bring that forth. I've added space to my life. Now let's get some energy into it. But I love the Naked Leadership, so talk enough about me. Sorry I went off, but I think the words thing is so important. So talk to me Carol, about what you do with the Naked leadership, what people experience when they work with you.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:15:04] So when I work with people and I do it in a variety of different ways. So certainly some is through programs, some is one-on-one coaching, and I also do consulting. So in the world of programs and coaching, what someone can expect as I work with them is that I am there as their guide. I am there as that individual that walks with them. And helps them uncover that naked leader within, because that's not my journey, it's their journey. So it's done through a narrative process of the client is coming to me with questions. And yes, we look at the situation, we look at what possibilities there might be that the client identifies it would help them to move through the situation they're in. And then there's, we work with them through what I refer to as a shift program, which can be a mind shift mindset shift. And then we look at with the client what will work for the client to actually. Kind of block that in and change the mindset or change a behavior. Now, in some ways it sounds simplistic, but quite frankly it can be very involved. And for me it is always the client experience, always. It's not about me. What I do with the client is I hold radical space. And I'm a radical listener because there's all sorts of things that I can pick up from a client. It's what they say. It's also not what they say. It's also their tone of voice. It's also how they pause between words. There's all sorts of nuances that come up, which I then get to question, and for example, on Saturday, I was talking, and this wasn't even a coaching session, but I was talking with someone who had given a presentation and we were having a one-on-one, and I asked them about a comment that they had made in their presentation and their eyes glazed over. They knew exactly what I was speaking about and when their eyes glazed over as I'm watching them, I said, what's the resistance? Inside of you in regards to what you said, and I could see some tears coming and I said to them, okay. I understand. Give me a call, we'll talk more about it. But the point is, Kathi, as you I'm sure already know in your work is, as you've said earlier, the body mind connection is very strong and our body speaks without us even realizing that we are speaking. It is. It is sometimes shouting so loud that we aren't hearing it because the answers are within us. And so for me it really is being there with the client and walking them through. And I've just had some wonderful successes with clients, where one client came back to me when we completed our time together and said, thank you so much for believing in me and believing in my dream. You're the first person in my life who never questioned my dream. You saw the possibilities in me and you kept moving me forward so that, that is what I do. I take that into the work that I do say as a consulting client as well. Working with individuals to discover what it is that there is going on for them, that they're struggling in, say, engagement with the rest of their work team, or what has the team not engaging and really bringing out from each one. What's going on for them and then finding that common ground in how they can move themselves forward.
Kathi Burns:[00:19:49] It's like an excavation of the mind, right? I do the excavation of the external environment. You excavate the mind and what's that stuff back there that's happening? What story are you holding onto that perhaps isn't quite serving you?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:20:05] That's right. And sometimes the stories don't serve us because they're really old. Where are they from? And as we, as you said earlier, it really is important that we live in the present. The stories, our stories, they happened in the past. They can no longer, they no longer serve us because here we are. We have so much to give, so much to give and contribute to ourselves, to our families, to the world. That standing in the stories and having them keep us stuck doesn't serve anybody, most of all us.
Kathi Burns:[00:20:48] Yeah, absolutely. I love the work that you do. You're so calm and so gentle, and I can see how it would be really beneficial for anyone to connect with you to just work through their stuff, so if you had to tell your teenage self Carol a piece of advice from now to her, what would you say?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:21:17] I would say to her first and foremost is stop. Just stop and take an inventory of who you are and really see the gifts that you have.
Kathi Burns:[00:21:40] We're all imbued with gifts.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:21:44]Yes. We all are imbued with gifts. Absolutely. And I would say to her, live. Live in the present. Live in that present moment. And the other thing I would say to her is, shut out the chatter from the outside that comes in to tell you that you need to be this or you need to be that, or you're, you're not excelling enough, is really begin to claim who you are at in your teenage age years.
Kathi Burns:[00:22:33] I still can't believe that you raised four kids and got a master's. What was your master's in?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:22:28] Public administration.
Kathi Burns:[00:22:31] Wow. A leader, girl. You're a leader.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:22:36] And the story behind the masters was that we're living in the Yukon at the time, and I was living in Dawson City, Yukon to do the masters. I had to travel to Whitehorse, which was a thousand kilometer round trip on the weekends.
Kathi Burns:[00:22:57] Wow. How old were your kids when this happened?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:23:03] They were they were in their late teenage years.
Kathi Burns:[00:23:08] Thank goodness for that. They were self-policing, kinda. Oh, wow. That, that's just an incredible thing. So you've done a lot, you've accomplished so much. Wow. This just blows me away. So as far as an organizing tactic, you obviously have been like this and juggled things throughout your life over and over again. What's your favorite way to stay organized? How do you hold it all together?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:23:38] That is a really great question for me and to stay organized, I actually need accountability. So do all of us, quite frankly, whether we realize that or not. Yeah. And how I stay organized is putting in place an accountability partner. So that has both of us setting goals. And then we either meet on a daily basis or we will meet on a weekly basis. And at that time we review our progress. We will set additional goals, and if we've had some struggles, we will talk about them. But that truly keeps me organized. And it's one way of, having some, knowing that someone else is there, that you're not walking the path all by yourself. And we weren't ever intended to walk the path all by ourselves. Our individually, who we are is us, but quite frankly, we are about connections. So for me, that being accountable means that I need to be responsible to me and then accountable to me, but to someone else as well.
Kathi Burns:[00:24:59] I love that. You're the first person that said that, and I totally am with you on accountability. I think it's a brilliant tool an amazing tool that we can use and it helps the other person. So it's like win, right? I love that. So whenever you reach a goal, whenever you make an accomplishment I know in the past you probably accomplished, accomplish, and didn't really celebrate. What do you do now to celebrate whenever you reach a a landmark or a goal that you've set for yourself?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:25:30] One of the things that I love to do when I reach a goal is to get out in nature is to just get out and rebalance and just bring in that, the earth's energy. That is, is just it. It lights up my soul. Other times it might be that I will call up a group of friends and we'll go for a walk or, and, or we might go out and enjoy a meal. So it, it all depends. It's not just one thing. But generally it will involve people will involve nature. It might even involve animals where I might just go find a horse that I can talk to. That sounds, yeah, people. What's she talking?
Kathi Burns:[00:26:25] No I'm with you. I love talking to horses. I have a little pony horse that I just discovered lives down the street, which is weird cause I'm in a suburbs and yeah, there's this little pony horse. I'll go talk to him for sure.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:26:37] Absolutely. And quite frankly, you can make a very strong connection with a horse because a horse's emotional field is twice the size of your field. So in essence, they know what's going on in you, and they will come and they will talk and they'll let you know if you haven't figured it out yet. But they're also just wonderful soul animals.
Kathi Burns: [00:27:01]Yes. Aren't they though? And they know before you even walk up to them where you're coming from or what state you're in.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:27:08] That's right. Absolutely they know.
Kathi Burns:[00:27:15] And I think that's fantastic. What's your favorite what's your favorite nature setting? Where do you find yours in easily? For me it's a pine forest. That's my ultimate nature setting.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:27:30] Actually mine is mine is a forest is getting deep into the forest and being there and listening to the sounds. And just taking it all in. Yes. Kathi, some years back on a leadership retreat. Got to spend time in the forest by yourself. I think it was for four or five hours, and it was just sitting there and listening and you could actually hear the bugs crawl on the leaves. And I thought, we don't take near enough time to really just get so connected to the earth and understand and listen to what's going on. Yeah, it's very powerful for me.
Kathi Burns:[00:28:22] I'm glad it's becoming more of a thing, tree bathing, I think glad that it's becoming more because there's so many benefits to that. As we wind down, I know that you have something that you can offer the audience here for anybody who wants to connect with you. What is it that you'd like to offer the people?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:28:39] I would like to offer the audience an article. It's called On Naked Leadership, but it's all about courage because one doesn't have naked leadership without courage. And that's right. And so it's the three keys to unlock your courage. And those three keys are also supported by decision making. So it's three keys to, to make decisive action, to put courage into play. And you can reach that you can find that article, not reach it. You can find that article on my website at carolmetzmurray.com/debunking-courage
Kathi Burns:[00:29:32] I'll put the link below if you well want the link on Buzz Sprout, it'll be right there on my YouTube channel. It'll be right there. So if you need to find that that's where you can find it. It'll be right below the podcast on certain channels. So it's Carol say it again? It's
Carol Metz Murray:[00:29:51] carolmetzmurray.com/debunking-courage
Kathi Burns:[00:30:03] Okay. Perfect. Perfect. Okay. Make sure to download that. I think that'll give you some insight for yourself and for your business and for your life. So I really appreciate, Carol, is there anything that we should have talked about that I didn't ask you during this time?
Carol Metz Murray:[00:30:20] Oh gosh, Kathi, we could talk for a long time in regards to, you decluttering your environment and I'm decluttering the helping others to de declutter their inside environment. Really and truly for me what I would like to leave with each and every woman who is listening is that every woman is a woman of impact. And I leave with women this thought, women truly step in to that inner courage, that inner strength that you have because quite frankly, the feminine is asking for each one of us to stand up. And when we step into that inner courage, that inner strength, the world will be a different place.
Kathi Burns:[00:31:21] The world is waiting for us. Yes, we are. And the more people that step into it, the better off we're going to be. So I love that sentiment and I'm in complete agreement with you on that, Carol. Of course. But we're always in complete agreement. Yeah, we are. Yeah, we are. It's been a pleasure and for those of you listening I wish you to step into your power. I wish you to uncover and get naked and get real with yourself about where you are as a leader and where is your power, and uncover that power and call upon Carol to help you with that, because she's a master at it. I really appreciate your time, Carol, and I appreciate all of you listening out there. Thanks for your time listening to this podcast and until then, I will see you next week. Same time, same back channel. Thanks so much.
Carol Metz Murray:[00:32:16] And thank you.
Kathi Burns:[00:32:17] Hey, thanks for listening to this podcast. I hope you enjoyed this episode, and if you want to hear more, feel free to subscribe on the platform of your choice. Also, if you feel so inclined, I would truly appreciate a good rating from you to me. Have a stellar day.